Since I was around 10, I was always pudgy and on the “heavy” side for my age. I can remember when I was 7 or 8 being taken over to the Children’s Hospital in Seattle to see why I was pudgy, but the only thing they could come up with is “watch what she eats and make sure she stays active.”
This put me into a bunch of sports, some I loved and some I played to please my mother. This also started the tradition of criticizing my food choices, which I’m sure was meant to try to teach me healthy eating but well, it started a cycle of sneaking food. Between all the sports I stayed “bigger” than I should have been, but I didn’t become obese. That happened when I was around 17 and decided to go vegetarian. Man, what an idiot I was.
At 17 I had to have my gallbladder taken out. The doctors had no clue why someone so young was having issues (possibly genetic since my very healthy and fit father had to have his out a few years before), but it went and with it went my ability to tolerate fat. That meant that most meats and fish sent me screaming to the bathroom along with french fries, pizza and other greasy fast food. This was a fantastic part of my life because I worked at McDonalds at that time.
Anyhow, I started to eliminate things from my diet and that convinced me to make the jump to lacto ovo vegetarian. I’m sure that if I knew what I know now, it could be a very healthy way of eating. However, I was 17 with a lot of friends and a boyfriend that all loved going out to eat so you can imagine what I ate. Loads of vegetarian pasta, salads with loads of fatty toppings, vegetarian franken foods, and really just a lot of junk. I went from about 120ish to 150 fairly quickly.
Between my horse and all the showing I did (I did a lot of showmanship, which is where the rider is on the ground running next to the horse in soft sand or dirt), practicing for the shows, and the cross country running I was involved in during High School, I managed to keep things around 150. BUT I had ungodly big calves, thighs, and hips. No matter what I did, I didn’t seem to be able to take it off again.
Probably the only thing that kept me from shooting straight up to 300lbs overnight was the fact that I was heavily active.
Fast forward to 2001 when I turned 22 and moved to Florida to work at a juvenile corrections facility. This was actually an outdoor facility (kind of a camp but stationary) where we did horseback riding, marathon training, wagon trains, and lots of other physical activity with the kids. I often drilled with the girls just coming into the program, which meant boot camp like running and exercises.
At some point between the time I got there, to the point I left for Europe in 2005, I had started eating tuna again as well as chicken. I also found out my body was tolerating fats better so fast food was introduced back in my diet. Due to the fact I was heavily active at work, plus I jogged, cycled and did strength training with machines at a gym the weight crept on a lot slower. But, it crept on as you’d expect (around 280ish) because I’m sure at this point I was taking in loads more than I was taking out. It wasn’t until around 2004 that I saw a picture of myself and DID NOT like what I saw…so I started weight watchers.
I learned portion control and moderation through Weight Watchers, but looking back, it was already too late.
From about 2004 until 2008 I did Weight Watchers. For a time it worked, but looking back it was working on the fat that wasn’t affected by Lipedema yet. Whenever I shed the pounds, I was still left with an abnormally large bottom half and the only feedback I ever got from my doctor(s) were, eat less and exercise more.
In 2005 I moved to the Netherlands to live with my then boyfriend. Since I was enrolled on the online Weight Watchers, I just carried that over with me. What a nightmare since food packaging gives nutrition information per 100g and not serving size! Of course the whole points system of WWers was based on the fat, carbs, protein, and calories per serving!
I took a bit of a nose dive because I just couldn’t get my head around the calculations needed to do weight watchers. So I covered by exercising more. That was pretty easy since at the time I arrived, immigration was a mess and my residence permit with my work permit attached would take about a year. Then it took another 6 months to find a job, but that’s a whole different story. What was happening was I tried eating right coupled with insane cycling, spinning every day, and learning to lift with free weights. I managed to go from around 280 to 260. But my lower body never really thinned out. Oh, and all that exercise wasn’t sustainable.
2010 was the year I got married, and I lost it…I didn’t want to be fat anymore. I was determined to lose weight.
So in September 2010 I got married and I was a fat bride. I think I surpassed 280 and blew up to 295ish. That was a wake up call because for the first time in my life I was almost 300lbs. I had to do something, anything so I got a referral to one of the obesity clinics here in the Netherlands.
Now, here in the land of cheese, tulips and clogs, the magic number for anything from an appointment at city hall to an appointment with a specialist is 3-6 weeks. I didn’t want to wait 3-6 weeks to get the opinion of the obesity clinic, I wanted to start ASAP. So I went back on Weight Watchers (dutch version) and hired a personal trainer at my gym and almost puked during my first session with him. All this time, even close to 300lbs, I never stopped being physically active or going to the gym. I just never realized that I wasn’t pushing myself as far as I could go…hence the almost puking.
By the time my appointment at the obesity clinic rolled around, I could jog 10km without stopping, cycle 20km in an hour and a half, and bench about 40kg. Not too bad for a fat girl…of course at 290 the clinic recommended weight loss surgery but I decided I was going to do it the hard way and do it through diet and exercise. Already I had lost 5 pounds so I knew I could do it…
And that’s what I’ve been doing for the last 5 years. Spinning my wheels trying to lose weight. But, I’ll leave that story for my next post.
PetraAnn
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